The annual Grammy Awards are tonight, and I am now throwing down my predictions for winners / outcomes of tonights events.

Prediction #1: I WILL NOT watch the red carpet special on E! Most of America will....

Prediction #2: If an artist performs and they are nominated for the next award, they will win. This cuts down on the bullshit walk up from the audience. Plus, it releaves the tension of the Joss Stone fans out there that are eagerly anticipating her Best Impression of a White Soul Singer Award.

Prediction #3: Kayne West will win a Grammy

Prediction #4: Jon-E-Keane will be mad about Kayne West winning a Grammy.

Prediction #5: Nobody you want to win will win. Audiences around the world will curse the greedy and uninspired music industry. Local bands around the country will bask in the 2 week glory when America starts realizing that local bands are just as good, if not better then anything you can find at Sam Goody. After two weeks, Jim Carter, the hot new acoustic singer/songwriter will take the country by storm. His new song about how his girlfriend is beautiful and how she stuck by him when he was living in a trailer will spawn a hot new MTV reality show. (Jim Carter is a fictitious artist)

Prediction #6 America forgets about their new found love for local bands.

Those are my predictions. Vegas has 2 to 1 odds on this.

Clegg out.....